The Samhain Surprise is up! What scares the Surprise's designer, Erssie Major? She quite reasonably is only afraid of things that have actually happened:

"I am not afraid of ghosts ghouls or anything lurking on the other side of that thin veil between two worlds on the eve of Samhain. I'm afraid of something more earthly and mundane than that. I suffer from hospital phobia which is unfortunate as I spend a lot of time near medical places. I have this recurring dream that I am paralysed in the operating theatre and that I am in dreadful pain but cannot speak and no-one believes me. I am also very frightened of NG tubes, I have to put my own in or I choke and cry like a baby.

I went to a psychologist to treat this phobia and he said technically it isn't a phobia (i.e. a fear of the irrational) as the recurring dream has actually happened to me and he couldn't promise it wouldn't happen again. Intense discomfort and pain cannot be relieved by morphine, which has been a total shock to me as we imagine this is taken care of when our relatives get sick.

So, my heart beats quickly when I hear the theme tune to ER or the UK TV programme Casualty and I have to leap to my feet, find the remote and switch channels before I glimpse a sterile ward or any hideous green or blue uniforms. For these reasons I am also shite scared of getting old as it seems to evoke even less sympathy from medical people, and, having no children, I will probably have no visitors to protect me."