Lately, I've been in a reading mode. I've read a number of books in the past month equal to the number I've read in the entirety of the year, I've been dutifully reading and editing pieces from the members of my writer's group, and magazines have ceased to serve as eye candy only.

I'm almost done with Only Forward by Michael Marshall Smithh--which is working out to be fabulous, by the way--and I am looking for something else now.

My criteria:

Any genre okay.
Must have elements of humor.
Nothing that leaves me through the book saying, "well that's damn depressing" as the main character gets beaten and/or raped constantly. (I know this sentence comes off flippant, but really, that stuff just plain gives me nightmares.)
No dragons, or fairies, or elves. This one is completely non-negotiable.
No talking animals.

I also need to bust out some audiobooks (good for knitting time.) Hey, it's October now, maybe good horror.

Anyone have recommendations for me? If not, what do YOU like to read? What won't you read?