Thursday, February 9. 2006
Attention Knitting Athletes
It is the grand tradition of Angstylvania to participate as little as possible in any activity that may cause us to break a sweat. However, it is also the grand tradition of Angstylvania to be elitist twats and wish to show our superiority over all others. To this end, Team Angstylvania will be competing in the Knitting Olympics.
There is no benefit to being a member of our team. There will be no glory for finishing, because no one really cares if you finish. You will not be exalted in Angstylvania, because the citizens are tired and it will probably be time for a nap, well, any time.
However, if you do manage to finish, you will be entered into a drawing to win two free stickers and as much WoolEase as we can force upon you.
The rules (also available here):
If you wish to be an official participant of the world knitting Olympics and be eligible for the official drawing via the Yarn Harlot, you must register here.
If you wish to be available for the much less prestigious but far more snobbish drawing, you must register with us.
To register with us we give you two options that are incredibly convenient to us. You may either email Renee at renee@theanticraft.com, or you may comment on the blog expressing your desire to compete.
Include any of the following that doesn't cause your bitter heart too much joy:
Name
Email address
Blog/Website (optional)
Knitting Olympics Project
Fifty words or less (preferably in poetry form) on how your love for your homeland of Angstylvania brings you so much sorrow and yet so much pride.
At this point, please select a button or a tshirt design so people can know you are an Angstylvanian and cross the street when they see you coming.
To be considered for the drawing, at the end of the Olympics you must send a photograph (preferably a very moody one) to Renee at renee@theanticraft.com to be considered. At this point, you may also include another poem about the evils and hypocrisy of Angstylvanian competition given our policy of noncommitment to any cause. This poem will not increase your chance of winning, but it will cause us to laugh at you and maybe post your poem to the blog.
The drawing will be held whenever Renee can get around to it and the winner will be notified when she damn well feels like it.
Remember the team motto: We would have to care to finish.
There is no benefit to being a member of our team. There will be no glory for finishing, because no one really cares if you finish. You will not be exalted in Angstylvania, because the citizens are tired and it will probably be time for a nap, well, any time.
However, if you do manage to finish, you will be entered into a drawing to win two free stickers and as much WoolEase as we can force upon you.
The rules (also available here):
If you wish to be an official participant of the world knitting Olympics and be eligible for the official drawing via the Yarn Harlot, you must register here.
If you wish to be available for the much less prestigious but far more snobbish drawing, you must register with us.
To register with us we give you two options that are incredibly convenient to us. You may either email Renee at renee@theanticraft.com, or you may comment on the blog expressing your desire to compete.
Include any of the following that doesn't cause your bitter heart too much joy:
Name
Email address
Blog/Website (optional)
Knitting Olympics Project
Fifty words or less (preferably in poetry form) on how your love for your homeland of Angstylvania brings you so much sorrow and yet so much pride.
At this point, please select a button or a tshirt design so people can know you are an Angstylvanian and cross the street when they see you coming.
To be considered for the drawing, at the end of the Olympics you must send a photograph (preferably a very moody one) to Renee at renee@theanticraft.com to be considered. At this point, you may also include another poem about the evils and hypocrisy of Angstylvanian competition given our policy of noncommitment to any cause. This poem will not increase your chance of winning, but it will cause us to laugh at you and maybe post your poem to the blog.
The drawing will be held whenever Renee can get around to it and the winner will be notified when she damn well feels like it.
Remember the team motto: We would have to care to finish.
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snow drifts down outside
my heart colder than snow
knitting warms me some
I really doubt my skills are strong enough to complete this, but that may just be my negativity coming through. We'll see.
Project pattern and photo posted here: http://vintagestitchorama.blogspot.com/2006/01/knitting-olympics-part-duh.html
(Poetry? I'm alergic to poetry so here's a really awful song instead...)
Angstylvania, oh Angstylvania
My sweaters lie unfinished
I've knit but one sock
And a half a scarf
I abandon my projects one by one
Oh Angstylvania
I'd weep for my Angstylvania
If I could do it while napping
Something something, ummm, knitting!
What will I bring to Angstylvania? Eugene Oregonian Winter. We have our own special brand of "it's just grey all the freaking time" that can make anyone, anywhere angsty upon first viewing. There is no sun, ever. Then the rains come.
Email address : glittrgirl@gmail.com
Blog/Website (optional): www.glittyknittykitty.co.uk
Knitting Olympics Project: Print O'The Wave Stole, well at least part of it. I'll probably get bored and throw it in the naughty corner by the time I make my third mistake.
Fifty words or less (preferably in poetry form) on how your love for your homeland of Angstylvania brings you so much sorrow and yet so much pride.
Oh Angstylvania, land of apathy and sorrow,
Oh Angstylvania, your lethargy makes me proud,
Oh Angstylvania, kingdom of the ....
Sighs loudly
Oh bugger I can't be arsed,
I'm off for a nap.
The picture is on my blog, but damn those perky smiling people modelling it...
The poem:
I guess I'll try to finish it,
By the time the end is near, I probably won't give a shit.
Angstylvania, the black and the gray.
Oh hell, why am I trying this anyway?
Hail Angstylvania!
Name: GaiaGal(Suz)
Email: scattered_gemini@blogspot.com
Websight: www.scatteredgemini.blogspot.com
Olympic Project: Branching Out from Knitty...my first stab at lace.
i begin with coffee, warm
hoping to follow form.
casting-on...one, two, three
this coffee really makes me pee
go Angstylvania go!
will i do Angstylvania proud,
cheering for my team loud?
who cares if i cheer?
pass me a beer!
'fore my sticks poke you hard in the rear!
Go Angstylvania Go!!
Email address:prettylarue@hotmail.com
Blog/Website (optional):http://daimere.blogspot.com/
Knitting Olympics Project: Bad Juju
Fifty words or less (preferably in poetry form) :
Everyone is proud
Regal and loud
But I will only mumble, "Go. Yay."
I try to cast on
It all seems like I work a ton
Finish it? I only say, "Nay."
Projects that never end
Stuff that needs to be mend
Finish something? "I may."
My mind is tired
It may have been fired
"I need to sleep," I say.
"Hail Anglstavnia..."
Email address: silent.five@gmail.com
Blog/Website: The Lair of the Dread Pirate Knitbeard
Knitting Olympics Project: A sweater very much akin to MagKnits's Sesame, only without stripes and with smaller buttons.
We hail Angstylvania, the land we might hold dear
With sticks in falt'ring hands, we sound a less-than-rousing cheer
Our hearts (and gorges) rise with aptly patriotic dread
"Oh, fuck it all," we say, "let's have a drink and go to bed."
Email address: graymalk@hotmail.com
Blog/Website (optional): http://knit-fink.livejournal.com/25684.html#cutid1
Knitting Olympics Project: Rogue made with fisherman's wool dyed lemon-lime.