knitting_olympics

Of twenty members of team Angstylvania, five of you crossed the finish line.

First out of the gate was Liz, finishing Anouk from Knitty on February 22. If we cared, she'd have the gold, but we don't. All are the same in Angstylvania.

Then we have our very own Robyn finishing two pairs of socks on the 24th.

Saturday, Jenni and her Swamp Witch trudged across the finish line.

Sunday brought Suz and her modified Branching Out, branched into something much larger.

And finally, dear Mandy hacked her way across the winner's circle in her cigar gloves.

We are all very proud. Oh wait. Not proud. Sleepy.

The drawing to announce the winner of copious amounts of Wool-Ease will be held whenever I can bother to do it. To be fair, that will probably be very soon.

Thanks to everyone for making our team, um, not suck quite as hard as it would have. One fourth of you should be very proud. The other three fourths of you should hide your faces in shame. Please do not mention that neither of your intepid coaches finished either.

Oh foul twist of fate!
Oh foul forgetfulness!

Bringing onto me a sorrow for which there is no way
To forgive myself
For not realizing that those who crochet
Might wish to join the 'Lympics.



Okay, crocheters. If you want to join, come on and join.


Oh? And by the way? You hookers keep asking for a crochet issue, so you might want to get that yarn a-hooking and write some damn projects.

It is the grand tradition of Angstylvania to participate as little as possible in any activity that may cause us to break a sweat. However, it is also the grand tradition of Angstylvania to be elitist twats and wish to show our superiority over all others. To this end, Team Angstylvania will be competing in the Knitting Olympics.

There is no benefit to being a member of our team. There will be no glory for finishing, because no one really cares if you finish. You will not be exalted in Angstylvania, because the citizens are tired and it will probably be time for a nap, well, any time.

However, if you do manage to finish, you will be entered into a drawing to win two free stickers and as much WoolEase as we can force upon you.

The rules (also available here):

If you wish to be an official participant of the world knitting Olympics and be eligible for the official drawing via the Yarn Harlot, you must register here.

If you wish to be available for the much less prestigious but far more snobbish drawing, you must register with us.

To register with us we give you two options that are incredibly convenient to us. You may either email Renee at renee@theanticraft.com, or you may comment on the blog expressing your desire to compete.

Include any of the following that doesn't cause your bitter heart too much joy:

Name
Email address
Blog/Website (optional)
Knitting Olympics Project
Fifty words or less (preferably in poetry form) on how your love for your homeland of Angstylvania brings you so much sorrow and yet so much pride.

At this point, please select a button or a tshirt design so people can know you are an Angstylvanian and cross the street when they see you coming.

To be considered for the drawing, at the end of the Olympics you must send a photograph (preferably a very moody one) to Renee at renee@theanticraft.com to be considered. At this point, you may also include another poem about the evils and hypocrisy of Angstylvanian competition given our policy of noncommitment to any cause. This poem will not increase your chance of winning, but it will cause us to laugh at you and maybe post your poem to the blog.

The drawing will be held whenever Renee can get around to it and the winner will be notified when she damn well feels like it.

Remember the team motto: We would have to care to finish.