Issue the First: You're going to die anyway, so you might as well knit.
Here's the thing. We craft first and knit foremost. We are creatrices out of aesthetic necessity, not whim. This issue, our first issue, is all about taking a mess of string and coercing it into tidy stitches in neat rows. That this mirrors society's demand for complete conformity is not lost on us. We'd fight to recover our individuality, but we're too tired. It's easier to craft about it instead.
We began with knitting because the recent revolution has both invigorated and infuriated us. We are the target demographic, but the marketers forgot something when they made the decision from on high to present us with cheery representations of feminine wiles. They forgot to ask who we were. Where are the sweaters to enshroud our dark hearts? Where are the afghans to blanket our angst? Where is the macabre? The dark sensuality? We've brandished our needles in defiance.
Thus, Issue the First is sticks and string. Future issues are up to you. Submit in defiance of the norm and celebration of the odd. Submit challenging tutorials, foolish questions, and unthinkable items. Be offensive, intelligent, esoteric. The final call is ours, and we do not pander to children, evangelical fundamentalists of any flavor, or idiots.
Now go create something.