When Scissors Attack: The Deadly Art of Craft
by Renée Rigdon

People are fond of saying that knitting is not your grandmother's craft anymore, and in one distinct way, it definitely isn't: Carnage. Do you remember Granny limping around the house because she caught a US 00 dpn in her toenail bed? Or Nana having to type with a straw in her mouth for three days because she thought an intarsia skull in linen was a kickass idea?

No. And that's why our grandmothers are posers.

Our generation did not invent knitting, but we upped the ante on the danger of it all. Renée, by herownself, has managed to deeply cut the roof of her mouth more than once when using her teeth as a handy dandy storage clamp for a cable needle when not in use. And who among us hasn't caught a dpn in a bad way when knitting our first socks? Zabet likes to ensure injury in her kniting pursuits by using cheese slicer-like wire.

And it's not just knitting.

Second only to a carmelized sugar burn, hot glue is a fun and exciting way to injure yourself. Ask Zabet's mom (of Worm Wagon fame)—she blistered the skin underneath Zabet's fingernail with a stray hot glue shot. Driving under the influence of glue fumes from our latest naughty decoupage is a constant worry. One of the most dangerous inventions of modern crafting is the rotary blade, used to cut quilting squares. Renée once sliced off the side of her finger while home alone and couldn't get it to quit bleeding because she was too busy chatting with Zabet over instant messenger. There is still a whitish scar reminding her to keep her damn finger out of the way when slicing squares for that next Sue Bonnet quilt. Bust out the sewing machine and you can sew over your finger with the needle. Nice. Very nice. It's like a homemade tattoo, but with stitches, and then you're really craftin' dangerous. The mother of our High Priestess of Shameless Promotion once had to go to the doctor because she had thrown a weaving shuttle too hard and imbedded it in her leg. All this and we haven't even touched upon the repetitive stress injuries you can give yourself while crafting.

No craft is exempt! We would encourage you to take appropriate safety precautions before your next venture into crafting, but we aren't going to and we'll call you a sissy if you do.

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