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pomme et porc > speckschnittenlebkuchenhaus > pork princess >
vegan wrapped in bacon > surprise #1: filet de bling >
surprise #2: bleary morning
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
The Muppet Movie (1979, rated G)
Custom fitted width, approx. 4" (10cm) high at apex.
Material Safety Data Sheet for Activa TG-RM (pdf format)
*The required safety gear is widely available at hardware stores. We got goggles that were rated for chemical spills as they provided full, eye-encasing protection. They also fit comfortably over Zabet's glasses. Our masks and gloves were obtained from a dental hygienist sympathetic to our salty cause.
Please read this safety information before starting the project.
This type of TG only has a working time of about 30 minutes, so you'll want to have everything ready beforehand.
Don your safety gear and get out the food processor. Process the Irish bacon and TG into a smooth paste. This may take a few minutes, and you might need to add up to 1 tsp of water while doing it. Spoon the meat paste into the pastry cuff. First pipe a bit of the meat paste between the overlap of the bacon slices to seal them together. Smooth the top slice down, and remove any meat paste that may ooze out of the seams. Continue to pipe out the structure of the tiara, following the schematic. It needs to be taller than you think it should be to allow for shrinkage. (Instructions continue below video.)
Switch to the petal tip on the pastry bag and prepare to create the meat roses. Place a small piece of aluminum foil over the flower nail. In the center of the foil with the small end of the petal tip up, squeeze the meat paste into a cone shape. This is the center of your rose. Continue to squeeze out short strips of meat paste while rotating the flower nail in the fingers of your other hand. Remember to stop completely and pull the tip away when finishing a petal. Start the next one by slightly overlapping the petal you just completed. Continue to create petals until your rose is as full as you wish.
Place the baking sheet in the oven and cook it to your liking. Honestly, we sort of forgot about it and probably let it go for about 45 minutes. Just check on it often. If it seems to be browning too fast in spots, cover it with some foil and let it continue to cook until it is no longer soft.
If you find the outside edges are too brown compared to the pinkish middle (where the meat was thicker, as in our picture), use a kitchen torch to carefully brown the pinker middle bits.
Put on your best beauty queen smile and practice your royal wave—honey, you're a Pork Princess!
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