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Rebecca Garcia (photo)

Visual Proof

"It’s 5:00 somewhere." You hear that a lot whenever someone is in need of justification or proof of rationalization of cracking open the booze at a perceived inappropriate time. Say, 8:30 am.

Here’s another grand defense: "Chill. I’m an artist. I know what I’m doing. You sound like you need another drink."

Quaff with care! Paint with abandon.

by Rebecca Garcia

Suggested Listening

"Whiskey Do Your Stuff" by Louis Jordan

Difficulty

Drunken Bob Ross Wannabe
Click here for definitions of difficulty levels.

Finished Measurements

Variable. It’s entirely up to you. Small is best, though. I like the size of a post card, and not coincidentally, Strathmore™ produces watercolor postcards that are sufficiently sturdy to survive the rigors of postal workers and equipment.

Materials

• Watercolor paints
• Watercolor brushes
• Watercolor paper
• Masking tape
• Pencil and eraser
• Glass of whiskey, neat (definitely not rocks)
• BIG glass of water

Design Notes and Musings

See this issue’s article titled, "Firewater Paint With Me" for a full explanation of the madness herein encouraged.

I use tubes of Winsor Newton watercolor paints; if you’re really concerned about poisoning yourself with the pigments, use one of those plastic sets of paints (like Prang or Crayola) in the tray familiar from grade school—they at least are rated non-toxic, though still should not be considered food-safe. Those school-rated watercolor sets tend to fade in the sun faster than artist’s watercolors.

Poison? What?

Oh good. You’re paying attention. Go read "Firewater Paint With Me" already. And if you are entirely new to watercolors, read this starting advice on paints and technique.

Directions

Fill a glass the size of your choice with the alcohol of your choice. For the purposes of these instructions, I’m going to keep using the word "whiskey", but please feel free to replace that with whatever other fluid you choose (I mean, a pirate painting is just screaming for rum). Take a sip.

Fill a large glass with water; this is your cleaning reservoir. Be prepared to change this water often, as always is proper when painting with watercolors. Muddy water makes a muddy painting. Do NOT take any sips of this water, but please do take another sip of your whiskey.

Squeeze a little from your tubes of paint onto your palette. Take a sip.

Tape down your paper to a flat surface: a drawing board or a desk or cocktail table. Tape as evenly as possible, as it will act as a resist to your paint, as well as provide your finished painting with a very sweet little frame. Whatever. Have another sip. Maybe a swig. Perhaps it’s time to refill the glass?

Lightly pencil in the design you want to paint. Not too darkly, and with absolutely no rendering. If there’s too much graphite on the paper, it mixes with the watercolor paint and turns your image muddy and gray. Even if you’re painting a seascape on an overcast day, this is not the gray you’re looking for. Sip; it will clear your mind.

Paint. Sip. Paint. Sip. Refill. Use the whiskey to wet the brush and to move the paint around on the palette and paper. Rinse your brush well in the water before loading your brush with more "drinkable" beverage, and don’t forget to refresh your water as you go. Ah, g’wan an’ havanuther. Cheers!

Let dry. Sign it. Frame, sell, give away, open a gallery, open a bar with a gallery; rinse, repeat.

About

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